Labour's Wee Red Bell

Gordon Brown, Stargazer

(Last Updated On: 2nd February 2015)

As regular readers may know, I have an affinity for rock and metal music. My daughter likes to call my eclectic musical tastes, “Auld Mannie Music.” However you did get a better class of lyric in old(er) music, and guitar solos too. So today’s reflections are centred around a Rainbow number called Stargazer. It encapsulates the predicament of the British Labour party Scottish Branch Office perfectly (and it’s got a guitar solo too).

The song is about a wizard who proclaims that he can fly to the stars, he just needs a platform to fly from. Said platform is built by the wizards followers who Labour (sorry) over the structure for years. The reason why the workers perform this work is because they “believe” the wizard can fly to the stars. Once the tower is built the wizard ascends then jumps off and “falls instead of rising”.

You’ve probably figured out that the wizard that features in the song is a parody of our old friend, and big beast of the Labour party, Gordie Broon. The edifice upon which he is climbing, and which the workers have toiled over for years, is the Labour party. The wizard is in freefall, just like the Labour parties poll ratings.

They are getting so desperate that they are already wheeling out the ghost of prime minister past. Today he was offering “The Vow Plus“. What on earth are you wittering on about Gordie? Well it’s like the Vow, which never really existed but is reckoned to have swung a No vote, but with a wee shiny bell on it:

Labour's Wee Red Bell

Labour’s Wee Red Bell

Basically Gordie is saying that Scotland will get the Smith Commission stuff plus the bits that Labour argued against during the Smith Commission (that’s the wee red bell). Stuff like housing benefit and an unfunded £500 million employment fund and further devolution of powers down to Cycling Proficiency Club level. That’s how radical their proposals are. Free-falling.

But now that the wizard has fallen we can see the truth, the rainbow is rising, and we’re coming home. But the home that we are talking about is the home of corruption; the palace of Westminster.

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