Ultimo

Stop Moneing

(Last Updated On: 2nd August 2015)

Wonderful news that Scotland’s most famous underwear entrepreneur is to be ennobled by David Cameron. Her elevation really shows off the best of the British establishment. The one where political party donors, failed politicians and other favoured cronies get to swill taxpayers’ bubbly and relax on some red leather benches and get paid £300 per day for doing so. They also get to amend and block legislation, but that’s a side issue.

Ms Mone, who admits to falsifying qualifications on her CV to get a job (isn’t that illegal?), is the original flip-flop woman. She is like a spoilt child who issues threats to leave as soon as something displeases her. She used to support the Labour party (the old cluncker Gordie Broon bunged her an OBE for her efforts) until she realised that they were about to lose the 2010 election so she switched her support to the Tories. Labour increasing the top rate of income tax may have had something to do with it as well, she even threatened to leave the UK if Labour pursued the policy (which they did but she didn’t).

Once Conservatism had filled her soul she was addressing the cabinet and came out for the Union during the independence campaign. She threatened to leave again if Scotland voted Yes, this time to England (which we didn’t but she did anyway). Her support for the Better Together campaign is now to be recognised and she is so worth it. After all, Lord Sewell looked a right tube with that hooker’s bra on. Surely she can design a nice, masculine bra which would lift and separate a lord’s moobs. Perhaps it could have a handy coke pocket too?

Of course once she enters the lords she may get to be part of the government, perhaps as a minister, even though nobody ever voted for her. She will sit alongside 800 odd other unelected people and amend our laws. How’s that for democracy?

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