It was with delight that I received an invitation, “Justine requests the pleasure of your company at The Hustings, Victoria Hall, Ellon. 19:30.” There was no RSVP, no return address. I’ve got to admit, it piqued my interest. So I went along, as did a fair few other folk. But Justine wasn’t on her own, she’d brought along a few friends: (from the right) Clark, Braden, some bloke, the lady herself and WeeEck was to her right. On her left, so to speak.
We had an aperitif, or “Opening Statements” as they were called. WeeEck was first up, he was chuffed that Brew Dog made beer in Ellon (so am I by the way). Then Justine spoke for the first time, her voice like a blackbird’s song with hooks and barbs. She got tore right into WeeEck then got sweet on the pensioners. She got fair fired up, got the crop oot and swung it about like she wanted to gie WeeEck the punishment she knows he deserves. It was up and doon and side tae side. She gied it laldy on the economy, bigging up the Lib Dems record. Next up Braden gives us a good old fashioned New Labour sermon. Clark tells us he’s from Auchterless and he thinks shrinking the welfare state is good.
Then some bloke feeds us with our starter: what do you think of reinstating the Formartine and Buchan railway? For those who don’t know, this railway line was closed by the Beeching cuts and is now a long distance footpath and cycle route.
WeeEck’s first up and thought it was a good idea. I’m like WTF? That’s my cycle route to work, that’s the route that allows me to keep my sanity during the morning commute, and he wants to turn it back into a railway! NESTRANS are on the case as we speak!
Then Justine gives the knife a twist, she’s all for it too! She gets the whip oot again: WeeEck’s gettin it wi the SNP BAD and thon Big Brig ower the Forth’s nae needed.
Braden’s all for it, it seems like a good idea to him, like good seems like an idea. But like whatever, why can’t the government own the railway?
Clark’s gives me hope, he wants to turn the A90 into a truck super highway. I’m not sure about that but at least I’ll keep my sanity.
There’s a wee bit o banter, WeeEck tells Justine she’s on a shoogly brig because her an her pals forced a the cash that was set aside for Grand Plans into the Edinburgh Trams. But Clark tells them both off, “Alex, you just want to go to Westminster to shake it to its’ foundations. Justine, you are really quite scary.” I find myself agreeing with a tory for probably the first time in my life.
The next course is expertly served by some guy: How do you plan to improve support services? But Justine has worn me out, so you’re going to have to wait to find out about the rest of the evening.