Category Archives: UK

Hard border mainland UK

Borders, NoB orders and Brexit

Hard borders, soft borders, no borders, we’ve heard it all. There has been much debate about which type of border would exist between a post Brexit Scotland and England in the event of Scotland being able to avoid sinking, along with the rest of the UK, into an insular little xenophobic fug with post-imperialistic tendencies. There are various permutations of the argument but we know that the British parties and their “Scottish” stooges will always plum for the most extreme variation in order to scare people into complying with their way of thinking. So lets take a look at that extreme option.

Scotland voted to remain in the EU by a hefty margin, of course the democratic will of the Scottish people matters naught to the British Fundamentalist so they insist that Scotland retains its chains to the sinking ship Britannia and we’ll all sing Jerusalem as we descend to the bottom of the North Sea amid glorious waves of red, white and blue. But let’s assume that Scotland somehow manages to retain her full EU membership (or something very close to it). This option could probably only be achieved with full independence since there is no political will on the part of the British Fundamentalists to do otherwise. They know best you see, just get back into your tartan shortbread tin Scotland.

The British Fundamentalists tell us that a hard border would exist between Scotland and England so we would should really understand what a hard border looks like. First up is the Irish border as it used to look during the euphemistically named “troubles”.

A watchtower on the Irish border

A watchtower on the Irish border

The border itself was very porous with no actual fence or wall dividing Northern Ireland from the Republic of Ireland. There were roadblocks and checkpoints, watchtowers positioned at strategic points and armed soldiers manning them all. This was a hard border. It existed between two EU member states. It blocked the movement of goods, people and services and damaged both countries economies.

The next border is another hard border, more extreme than the last one. It is the former Inner German Border which used to exist back in the days of the Cold War. I used to patrol it and it was scary, it looked like this:

Inner German border

Inner German border

There were walls, anti-vehicle ditches, mine fields (the ploughed strip above), fences, war dogs on running leashes, watch towers, armed troops and all manner of listening and observation devices. The main difference between this border and the former Irish border was that this one was designed to keep people in, not out. I like to think that this would be the type of border that would exist between England and Scotland, one which is designed to keep the poor little Englanders in since they all aspire to get into the prosperous Scotland which stayed in the EU, well maybe not.

The fact is that all borders are artificial constructs, animals and birds do not respect borders. They are by human beings, for human beings. Designed to keep human beings on one side or the other. They exist only by the will of man.

So would this type of border exist between a post Brexit England and an European Scotland? If it did it would be an extension of the English southern border. It would be an English construct since Scotland neither needs nor wants one. The only people who would want one are the UKIPpers and their Daily Express reading followers who have been fed a constant diet of the dangerous migrants and glorious Britain with its smashing Empire. It would be the border between what remains of the UK and the EU/EEA. If rUK made it difficult at one point the EU would make it difficult at all points.  If rUK made it difficult to cross from Scotland within the EU/EEA into rUK then the EU would make it difficult to cross from all EU ports into rUK. For this reason sanity dictates that it would never happen (assuming some sanity still exists in this world).

Now our Tory Brexiteers insist that there would not be a hard border between a post Brexit Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. No real border exists there now and that’s the way that most people on the emerald isle want it to stay. So how can that be? How can Northern Ireland remain within the UK and have no borders with the Republic of Ireland? Well here’s how:

Hard border mainland UK

Hard border mainland UK

The border would exist around mainland UK! Taking us back to dark days of WWII. If you want to travel around the UK you will have to show your papers. Fancy jumping on a ferry to Larne? You’re going to need your passport. Live in Belfast and want to sell those goods to mainland UK? You’re going to have to pay customs duties and fill in lots of paperwork. This is the reality which awaits Northern Ireland and its soft border with the Republic of Ireland, the hard border will exist but it will be on the mainland.

So to sum up, no hard border will exist between Scotland and England whether or not Scotland retains EU membership or not. If NI remains part of UK it will have a hard border at the UK mainland and no border to speak of with the Republic of Ireland, but if NI remains within the EU it won’t have a border at all. Got it?

I have a "Special Deal"

The Perma-Tory hell of Brexit

Our beloved leader has cast aside his bestialist ways and got us a super deal which gives us “special status” within the EU. Not that the deal amounts to much, it just tinkers around the edges of immigration policy and benefits. But the PM’s biggest achievement is the exemption of the City of London from any EU regulation. How’s that for light touch regulation? Paul Double, the City of London Remembrancer, will be pleased.

Now we are expected to decide whether we want to stay in the EU in a referendum which is to be held on the anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn, the timing is against the wishes of all of the devolved parliaments and assemblies since the referendum campaign will overshadow the May elections. The referendum will continue to dominate the agenda until then and it will provide a free platform to UKIP which may see their first MSPs at Holyrood.

This referendum is all about the tories and the advance of UKIP who have outflanked them on the right. The tories have always been split on the EU, some tories split from the main party to form UKIP. Tory party grandees fund UKIP and it is they who are driving the anti-EU agenda.

Before we get lost in the EU referendum let’s remember that UKIP want to abolish the Barnett Formula which they conceded in their 2015 manifesto, “…will result in substantial reductions in funding for Scotland.” But hey, that’s OK because we will have some super new powers of our own to compensate for the shortfall. This places UKIP up there with the red tories who want us to raise income taxes in order to mitigate for tory cuts. But they are purple tories after all.

So what would the UK be like if the result of the referendum is to leave?

Well the first thing to go would be those pesky Human Rights that are forced on us from the EU. That would be the end of freedom of speech, we wouldn’t be able to complain about being tortured or having our privacy invaded. The tories would be able to do as they please once the shackles of the European Court of Human Rights are thrown off. We would have no right to life, no right to freedom, no right to property and definitely no right to protest. Goodness no, that would never do.

The next thing to go would be those irritating employment laws, you know the ones that protect the employees from the worst excesses of the employers? So out would go union laws, we won’t be having any of those. Then the tories will make it even easier to get rid of people and as for holiday entitlement, ha ha ha. Pay would be driven down, unless you are a boss of course, and those working conditions would be, how should I put it, improved.

Once you have been booted out of your job and you become “no longer economically active” well, what use are you? You may think that all those National Insurance contributions counted for something but you were wrong. There will be Universal Credit if they ever get the computer system sorted out, but IDS will make it impossible for you to claim it. If you are unable to work through sickness or disability IDS will make you jump through all manner of hoops before declaring you fit to work, so you get nothing. The new benefits regime will be called Work for Freedom.

Did we mention pensions yet? The tories will reduce the state pension but not too much, they do rely on the silver vote after all so it will be nice and subtle. Those other benefits like winter fuel allowance and free TV licences will all have to go, after all we need to pull together now that there’s a war on, spirit of the blitz and all. Didn’t we mention the war? We’ll get to that. The bus passes will have to go, but then pensioners are not economically active so why do they need to get around? As for those company and private pensions, all that lovely cash sitting around is just too tempting to resist, Gideon already has his greedy eyes on that honeypot. After all there is a war to pay for.

Oh yes, the war. Well it turns out that nuclear weapons are no deterrent after all. The £167 billion which was funnelled into arms companies didn’t prevent the war. Well it wouldn’t would it, because war is so much more profitable than peace. If there’s something a tory loves it’s money and cushy non executive directorships, both of which can be had by the bucket load if only the house votes for war.

We’ll need someone to do the dirty work, boots on the ground so to speak. There weren’t many volunteers so the tories re-introduced conscription. Now all our youth must serve in the armed forces, but only working class youth of course. There are lots of exemptions so if you have enough cash your son/daughter will not have to join the slaughter discipline enhancing institutions of the armed forces. Before you know it they will be off to the sand pit with sub-standard kit, made by the lowest bidder, to fight in a perpetual war which cannot be won.

Back home in Blighty there will be fear, lashings of it, all over the MSM. We need to have fear to keep the people in their place you see. There will not be any facts, good lord no. We can’t have the plebs making informed decisions can we? That would never do. The media will do the government’s bidding because they are one and the same. All part of the same establishment because that is what tories stand for: the few at the expense of the many.

Liar Carmichael

The liar’s reward

The Orkney 4 are safe in their burrows tonight after judges ruled that Alistair Carmichael, the lying Liberal Democrat MP for Orkney and Shetland, could not extract punitive damages from them for having the temerity to challenge his election. He will now have to stump up the cash himself. But let’s not fool ourselves here, the only winners in this case are the lawyers who stand to make somewhere around £300000! How can it be that such a phenomenal sum of money is required to bring our elected representatives to account?

The liar’s fundraiser currently stands at £14595, there’s been a wee flush of activity since the decision of the judges. It’s interesting to have a look at the donors, you get a view into the mind of the yoon. So let’s take a wee peek shall we?

Eric Holford

Eric Holford

First up is Eric who obviously got caught up in the media propaganda, but the lying Liberal Democrat admitted that the document was false back in May 2015. He must have missed that nugget of information. Notice how he blames the SNP for this “attack.” He just doesn’t understand that lying to the electorate is wrong! This is a theme which is repeated throughout the fundraiser. Take Robert Moss for instance:

Robert Moss

Robert Moss

Why is it accepted that politicians lie? Can we not aspire to something more than having self-serving liars representing us? The whole purpose of the Representation of the People Act was to allow politicians to be held to account. Unfortunately it seems to be flawed as it gave the liar Carmichael enough wriggle room to keep his job. The yoonery continues with Robbie:

Robbie Thomson

Robbie Thomson

This is a common thread too, the petitioners are scum for wanting to hold their MP to account apparently. Why does he think that? I think that the media has a lot to answer for in this regard, they went into full propaganda mode to protect their man. All opponents of the union are denigrated, we get a good othering at every turn. Casting the Orkney 4 as scum is a continuation of this line of attack. They’ll be calling us untermensch next.

Next up we have Jill Stephenson, aka History Woman, one of the most extreme yoons there is:

History Woman 1st donation

History Woman 1st donation

History Woman 2nd donation

History Woman 2nd donation

According to History Woman it is all the fault of the Scottish judicial system, even though this is an Act of the UK parliament. The judges decided that he did have a case to answer and because the verdict was divided between the Orkney 4 and the lying Liberal Democrat that no costs should be awarded. Jill clearly doesn’t see that if Carmichael had not lied and come clean to the Cabinet enquiry, then none of costs would have been incurred. Mind you Carmichael would probably have lost his seat, and deservedly so. But what of the cost of that enquiry, reportedly £1.4 million? Is Jill happy for us to foot the bill for that? If Carmichael had been an honest man those costs would not have been incurred either. The Tories will probably see that as a small price to pay in order to keep their single remaining Scottish MP safe.

There was also a donation from Sir Malcolm Bruce, Lord of the Gowk Stane, who bunged the liar £50. Who can forget this former MP telling us that all politicians lie, and that really is the core issue of this sorry tale. Why is it acceptable and legal for politicians to lie? Is this just a feature of the Westminster parliament or does this phenomenon pervade the devolved assemblies too?

This case just goes to prove that politicians are above the law, they can lie to us with impunity. The whole system of “democracy” in this land stinks of corruption. It is a system in which politicians, both elected and unelected, syphon vast sums of money off into tax havens as this excellent article by Steve Topple describes. They do as they please while we pay the price, does that sound like a good system of government to you?

A Princess

Some news you may have missed

The press is busy promoting our beloved Prime Minister’s attempts to deflect attention from his complete lack of ideas over negotiations about the UK’s membership of the EU (apparently he will be publishing his “list of demands” next month which is a bit like his answer to the leader of HM Opposition at PMQ’s which in a nutshell was “we have no idea so you will have to wait and see what Gideon comes up with”).

But if you can be bothered to read the article there’s an interesting paragraph right down at the bottom where you will see that Michael Froman, a US Trade Representative, stated that, “We have no FTA with the UK so they would be subject to the same tariffs – and other trade-related measures – as China, or Brazil or India” if the UK left the EU. Now I may be a little bit cynical here but surely that should be a headline item? Would it have been a headline if it were directed at Scotland outside the UK? I’m sure that it would have made the front page of every newspaper and it would have been the headline on every TV and radio news show. But I’m just a blogger, I should leave these things to the people who know. Mind you, RT saw it as a big enough story to headline it which probably means that it’s propaganda or something.

In some other news, the majority of the European Parliament voted to drop all charges against the American whistleblower Edward Snowden. It was a slim majority mind you (285 for and 281 against) but that’s democracy for you. The MEP’s urged member states to, “drop any criminal charges against Edward Snowden, grant him protection and consequently prevent extradition or rendition by third parties, in recognition of his status as whistle-blower and international human rights defender,” in a press release.

The press release goes on to say, “Parliament is concerned about “recent laws in some member states that extend surveillance capabilities of intelligence bodies”, including in France, the UK and the Netherlands. It is also worried by revelations of mass surveillance of telecommunications and internet traffic inside the EU by the German foreign intelligence agency BND in cooperation with the US National Security Agency (NSA).” So it would appear that the EU is not too bad an outfit after all. Oddly there is not much coverage of this in our media, but oh, look there’s a princess. There’s absolutely no mention of this story on our beloved, unbiased, BBC. Maybe someone missed it?

A Princess

A Princess

And finally, 343 UK university professors say they will “halt all cooperation with Israeli schools in an effort to draw attention to Israel’s violations of international law.” The action is part of the Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions campaign which aims to” boycott Israel as part of  non-violent resistance to defend the Palestinian cause.” Surely such a move would be bound to feature in the organs of the UK state? Well they don’t appear on the BBC, although BDS appeared back in July. Look there’s Harry! Is that a potential princess he’s with? Phwoar.

 

 

Scotland 2nd class

EVEL Tories

The tories took a sledge-hammer to the fragile union of nations which we laughingly call the United Kingdom tonight. 312 of them trotted down the lobbies from the subsidised bars of the Palace of Westminster and drove a massive wedge between England and the rest of the UK. For now English MPs are more equal than any other MP.

They have turned the elected MPs of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland into second class statespersons in the mother of all parliaments. They have politicised the neutrality of the Speaker of the House of Commons by making him decide whether a Bill, or parts of a bill, should be deemed as English only. But they  have not bothered to put any procedures in place to aid the decision-making process.

One tory MP, Heather Wheeler, even suggested that the SNP MPs “need to be on their planes back,” to Scotland.  Which just goes to show the contempt that the tories hold for Scotland and our elected representatives.

Heather Wheeler MP

Heather Wheeler MP

So now all of Scotland’s MPs are second class and a massive crack has appeared in the union. All because the tories don’t want to set up an English parliament. But why should they? For they believe that Westminster is their parliament.

Scotland 2nd class

Scotland 2nd class

There will be huge repercussions from this decision. The UK is crumbling before our very eyes and the tories laugh. Except for Fluffy of course, because he’s second class too.

More job opportunities - Better Together

Tata Scottish steel

As expected, Tata Steel announced that it would be mothballing the 2 remaining steel plate mills in Scotland with the sad loss of 270 jobs. Let’s not forget the even bigger blow to Scunthorpe which is set to lose 900 jobs. These job losses bring the total in the UK to around 4500, or 15%, this year and it looks likely that more will go too. This announcement brings the Scottish steel industry to an end.

The reasons cited by Tata Steel for the closures are the strength of the Pound, the cost of energy and the depressed cost of steel caused by China dumping their subsidised steel onto the global market. Let’s take a look at each one of these factors individually.

Strength of the Pound Sterling

The Pound has been appreciating in strength for some time now and it seems to be set to continue. But the pound is not appreciating against the USD, it is mainly appreciating against Asian currencies. The main reason for this increase in the strength of the Pound is:

“UK economic data continues to improve, particularly with respect to consumption, wage growth and core inflation, while foreign inflows remains supportive,” say Standard Chartered. Against this backdrop, it is believed that the BoE is likely to hike interest rates early next year, ahead of what markets currently expect.”

So the UK economy is growing. That’s a good thing, right?

UK GDP growth

UK GDP growth

GINI Inequality index UK

GINI Inequality index UK

Well it would be if the benefits of this growth were shared equally, but as the second chart shows that is not the case. For in the UK it is the rich who benefit the most from growth, the rest of us don’t get a look in.

Income growth at the top http://topincomes.g-mond.parisschoolofeconomics.eu/#Database:

Income growth at the top http://topincomes.g-mond.parisschoolofeconomics.eu/#Database

Of course a strong Pound decreases the costs of imports, which makes us consume more, and gives our wonderful Chancellor of the Exchequer a chance to crow about his achievements. But the reality is that our current account deficit is the worst it’s ever been.

UK current account defecit

UK current account deficit

So that means that inflation is bound to rise. All that free money sloshing around the world due to quantitative easing has to find a home somewhere, and the scent of higher interest rates here in the UK is sucking it in. In short, the prevailing conditions are not going to change any time soon so we can expect more of our manufacturing base to suffer.

Cost of energy

As we already know, Scotland pays the highest prices for electricity in the UK. In fact the further you are away from London and the SE England, the more you will pay. This is because of the transmission rates which are set by the monopoly of National Grid. So it’s no surprise that the steel mills in the North of England and Scotland pay through the nose for electricity. Something which OFGEM has deemed acceptable for years.

Cheap steel from China

Weak demand and over production has left China with a glut of steel. Although the Chinese government has ordered various steel mills to close they continue to operate, often at a loss. But this keeps the jobs in China, for once a steel mill closes it is very difficult to restart it. Which means that the worlds biggest steel producer keeps pumping the stuff out. Ukraine and Russia are also dumping steel onto the market for the same reasons. So three of the top 4 steel producing nations are preserving their production capacity and destroying the rest of the world’s capacity. But that’s OK isn’t it? We can buy steel cheap and so keep costs down?

Steel is a commodity which is strategic by its very nature because it is required if you want to make things like tanks, guns and ships. If a country can lay its hands on the stuff easily it can therefore defend itself easily. But what if the UK has a bit of a tiff with the major steel producing nations, say a small spat over something like Syria? Then they could just say, “No steel for you.” Then where would we be?

Other countries within the EU manage to preserve their steel industries, but here in the UK they are to be sacrificed on the neoliberal altar of the market. Without any strategic vision on the part of our government.

As we would expect our politicians, elected and wannabe, are making hay from these job losses and steel plant closures:

Kezia Dugdale steel tweet

Labour’s Kezia Dugdale steel tweet

Justine steel tweets

Lib Dem’s Justine steel tweets

Unusually, there has been no response from the Conservative and Unionist Party. I wonder why? But it just goes to show that the Unionist parties will use anything as a cosh to try to bash the SNP. Even when the fault lies squarely at the door of No.11 Downing Street.

But I thought that we were Better Together?

More job opportunities - Better Together

More job opportunities – Better Together

The jobs are in China and the powers are in Westminster.

 

 

Media Tyrant

The tyranny of media

Maybe you haven’t noticed, but there has been a concerted media campaign in almost all of the media against Michelle Thomson MP (and by association the SNP). Almost every media outlet has carried negative stories about her alleged business dealings. The story has run in the newspapers, the radio and TV and it has been getting ever more lurid by the day (almost as if the story has run out of steam but someone wants to keep it going.)

It is an extension of the SNP bad rhetoric that the media spouts on a daily basis, but this time they are performing a giant, combined character assassination against an individual MP. We saw the same tactics used against Jeremy Corbyn recently as well. I do not intend to indulge in conjecture about the erstwhile SNP MP’s business dealings. What is more interesting to me is the attack itself. So lets take a look at it in a bit more detail.

The first, and most obvious, point about the attack is the concerted nature of it. Almost every newspaper is at it, it’s all over TV and radio news too. All of the media outlets are acting in unison, they have decided among themselves (or been directed) to relentlessly pursue Michelle Thomson and the SNP over this story. Why would they do this?

The UK has one of the most concentrated patterns of media ownership outside of China, if we take a look at who owns what we see that just 6 entities own almost all of it (excepting the BBC). Of these 6 none support the SNP, the BBC is certainly no SNP supporter either since it sees itself as the protector of the UK and the SNP as a threat. So it would appear that there is collusion over this story. It is the type of attack which we saw during the independence referendum as part of Project Fear. It also replicates the tactics used against Jeremy Corbyn. It’s hardly surprising that we see our media morph into tyrants when they are only governed by a Code with a regulator which lost its falsers years ago.

Perhaps there is a pattern forming? If you oppose the current neo-liberal ideology then you will probably be attacked. If you are perceived as a threat to that ideology then you can expect to feel the full force of the UK media monster. The media are behaving as a tyrant, ruthlessly attacking anyone who it perceives as a threat to itself or the status quo. There is no doubt that the SNP pose just such a threat. They threaten the very existence of the status quo. They threaten the comfy, pampered existence of the people and companies at the very top of the UK.

We also need to look at who this message is intended for. It’s certainly not for me, I switched off to the UK media a long time ago when I realised that most of their output was propaganda or meaningless celebrity padding. So it must be for someone else, probably soft SNP voters if such a person exists. But I think the whole campaign will backfire. We got both barrels during the independence referendum and those scars have healed thicker than the injured skin from which they arose. This will probably harden our resolve.

The UK media, with the exception of the BBC, all operate on the same business model. They rely on advertising to pay the bills so that they can sell their offerings at reduced rates. They only attract advertisers by having decent circulation figures, if those figures go down then so does the advertising revenue. So the best way to counter the media tyrant is to attack it at it’s very roots. Pay it no attention and give it no money.

The companies which advertise in the media are very proud of their reputations, if they think that their reputations will suffer due to their association with a particular media outlet then they will run to the hills and take their money with them. If only there was a way to show how tyrannical our media has become?

All Animals are Equal

Four legs good, two legs bad

So runs the quote from George Orwell’s Animal Farm, which seems very apt on this day of lurid allegations about our Prime Minister’s bizarre sexual proclivities. What is probably even more bizarre is the person who dished the dirt, Lord Ashcroft, former Tory party deputy chairman. Hell hath no fury like a peer scorned. But, as we have learned already, today would be a great day to bury bad news. So let’s cast our eyes around to see what else was happening while we were laughing our socks off at David Cameron’s alleged porcine necrophiliac bestiality.

A bit of how's your father?

A bit of how’s your father?

Well there was the news that George Osborne was visiting China where he announced that the UK taxpayer would underwrite £2bn of risk, called a loan guarantee, for the proposed new nuclear power station at Hinkley Point. This is expected to rise substantially over the life of the project. But we can’t call it a subsidy, because that has a negative connotation. But that’s what it is. The UK government has already agreed to buy electricity from the new power station at a minimum price of £92.50 per MWh. For comparison, a power station burning natural gas can produce electricity at a price as low as £55 per MWh. Although if you read the DECC’s “Levelised Costs” i.e. fudged, nuclear appears to be competitive.

So in these austere times, why are we over paying for some new nuclear power stations? Saving the environment? You can Fukushima that. So it must be something else. What is a byproduct of nuclear power plants? Plutonium. The raw material for nuclear bombs, the prestige weapon of choice for the modern career politician. My guess is that these power stations are designed to keep the UK as permanent member of the UN security council. No nukes, no prestige.

Another item which reared it’s head over the weekend was the news that an anonymous “serving general” had said that there could be a mutiny if Jeremy Corbyn were elected as prime minister. This is a truly shocking story. You see, every member of the armed forces swears allegiance to the Queen, who is the head of the armed forces. But she no longer directs the armed forces because of the Royal Prerogative, which means that the power to direct the armed forces rests with government ministers. They can wield this power by decree if they wish, with no need to consult parliament to ask for permission. Which means that this anonymous general, if he exists at all, would be contravening his oath. Which would be treason, for which the death penalty is still on the statute books.

So why no investigation to find the source of this story? Well it could be something to do with publisher, The Sunday Times, which is owned by Rupert Murdoch and run by Rebecca Brooks, friends with David Cameron and his wife.

David Cameron and Rupert Murdoch

David Cameron and Rupert Murdoch

David Cameron and Rebecca Brooks

David Cameron and Rebecca Brooks

So it would seem that this is a non story, cooked up by persons unknown, in an attempt to smear the leader of the opposition and discredit him. Or it could be that the Prime Minister has already exercised the Royal Prerogative and ordered the anonymous general to talk to the press. Either way, this is a serious issue and it needs to be investigated. But will it?

Lord Arse of Hole

The rewards of failure

Our Tory prime minister has announced that 45 of his tory pals will be made into lords, where they can wear a coat made from dead stoats and park their generous behinds on the red leather benches and be paid £300 per day for dosing off in a wonderful, champagne induced haze. They will be joining the other 781 unelected peers on the taxpayer funded gravy train and they will have the ability to block and amend our laws. Before we get into the wonderful personalities who will be elevated, it is worth having a look at the current membership:

  • Conservatives  226
  • Labour   212
  • Crossbench   179
  • Liberal Democrats   101
  • Democratic Unionist Party   4
  • UKIP    3
  • Plaid Cymru   2
  • Ulster Unionist Party   2
  • Green Party   1
  • Non Affiliated   25
  • Priests   26

Notice how there are no truly Scottish parties represented in the lords? There are no SNP, no SSP and no Solidarity. There will be lots of fine words from the likes of the Green Party, Peter Hain and others about how the house of lords can only be reformed from within. But they are just that, fine words.

Our new lords break down like this:

  • Conservative   26
  • Liberal Democrats   11
  • Labour   8

Which will bring the total to 826! if they all bothered to turn up that would cost us £247800 per day (not including expenses, champagne and subsidised food).

Some of the notable new entrants are:

Blue Tories

  • William Hague – former MP and ex leader of the party – for services to blue torydom
  • Michelle Mone – for services to espionage and failed businesses
  • Stuart Polak – for services to Zionism
  • Philippa Stroud – ex adviser to Iain Duncan Smith – for services to the poor and disabled

There are a further 9 former MPs, assorted blue tory councillors, party officials and donors.

Yellow Tories

  • Malcolm Bruce – former MP – for services to expenses grabbing sucking up to the blue tories
  • Ming Campbell – former MP – for services to sucking up to the blue tories
  • Jonny Oates – former lacky to Nick Clegg – for services to sucking up to the blue tories

There are also 5 former MPs, 2 former councillors and a former MEP. A notable person, who just missed out on a peerage, was Danny Alexander who will just have to make do with a knighthood for screwing as much tax out of the North Sea as possible.

Red Tories

  • David Blunkett – former home secretary – for services to his ex-lover’s nanny
  • Alistair Darling – former chancellor – for services to tory bankers
  • Peter Hain – former colonial officer – for services to Robert Mugabe
  • Tessa Jowell – for services to paedophiles

There are also 4 former MPs and a party lackey.

So it would seem that once you get a ride on the UK’s gravy train, there’s no need to get off just because the plebs have had the bad grace to un-elect you. You can just keep on riding in a dead animal coat. I, for one, am glad that we are better together in this wonderful UK where we dehumanise refugees, starve our sick and poor and reward the failures of our chums.

Ultimo

Stop Moneing

Wonderful news that Scotland’s most famous underwear entrepreneur is to be ennobled by David Cameron. Her elevation really shows off the best of the British establishment. The one where political party donors, failed politicians and other favoured cronies get to swill taxpayers’ bubbly and relax on some red leather benches and get paid £300 per day for doing so. They also get to amend and block legislation, but that’s a side issue.

Ms Mone, who admits to falsifying qualifications on her CV to get a job (isn’t that illegal?), is the original flip-flop woman. She is like a spoilt child who issues threats to leave as soon as something displeases her. She used to support the Labour party (the old cluncker Gordie Broon bunged her an OBE for her efforts) until she realised that they were about to lose the 2010 election so she switched her support to the Tories. Labour increasing the top rate of income tax may have had something to do with it as well, she even threatened to leave the UK if Labour pursued the policy (which they did but she didn’t).

Once Conservatism had filled her soul she was addressing the cabinet and came out for the Union during the independence campaign. She threatened to leave again if Scotland voted Yes, this time to England (which we didn’t but she did anyway). Her support for the Better Together campaign is now to be recognised and she is so worth it. After all, Lord Sewell looked a right tube with that hooker’s bra on. Surely she can design a nice, masculine bra which would lift and separate a lord’s moobs. Perhaps it could have a handy coke pocket too?

Of course once she enters the lords she may get to be part of the government, perhaps as a minister, even though nobody ever voted for her. She will sit alongside 800 odd other unelected people and amend our laws. How’s that for democracy?