Category Archives: Conservative

I have a "Special Deal"

The Perma-Tory hell of Brexit

Our beloved leader has cast aside his bestialist ways and got us a super deal which gives us “special status” within the EU. Not that the deal amounts to much, it just tinkers around the edges of immigration policy and benefits. But the PM’s biggest achievement is the exemption of the City of London from any EU regulation. How’s that for light touch regulation? Paul Double, the City of London Remembrancer, will be pleased.

Now we are expected to decide whether we want to stay in the EU in a referendum which is to be held on the anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn, the timing is against the wishes of all of the devolved parliaments and assemblies since the referendum campaign will overshadow the May elections. The referendum will continue to dominate the agenda until then and it will provide a free platform to UKIP which may see their first MSPs at Holyrood.

This referendum is all about the tories and the advance of UKIP who have outflanked them on the right. The tories have always been split on the EU, some tories split from the main party to form UKIP. Tory party grandees fund UKIP and it is they who are driving the anti-EU agenda.

Before we get lost in the EU referendum let’s remember that UKIP want to abolish the Barnett Formula which they conceded in their 2015 manifesto, “…will result in substantial reductions in funding for Scotland.” But hey, that’s OK because we will have some super new powers of our own to compensate for the shortfall. This places UKIP up there with the red tories who want us to raise income taxes in order to mitigate for tory cuts. But they are purple tories after all.

So what would the UK be like if the result of the referendum is to leave?

Well the first thing to go would be those pesky Human Rights that are forced on us from the EU. That would be the end of freedom of speech, we wouldn’t be able to complain about being tortured or having our privacy invaded. The tories would be able to do as they please once the shackles of the European Court of Human Rights are thrown off. We would have no right to life, no right to freedom, no right to property and definitely no right to protest. Goodness no, that would never do.

The next thing to go would be those irritating employment laws, you know the ones that protect the employees from the worst excesses of the employers? So out would go union laws, we won’t be having any of those. Then the tories will make it even easier to get rid of people and as for holiday entitlement, ha ha ha. Pay would be driven down, unless you are a boss of course, and those working conditions would be, how should I put it, improved.

Once you have been booted out of your job and you become “no longer economically active” well, what use are you? You may think that all those National Insurance contributions counted for something but you were wrong. There will be Universal Credit if they ever get the computer system sorted out, but IDS will make it impossible for you to claim it. If you are unable to work through sickness or disability IDS will make you jump through all manner of hoops before declaring you fit to work, so you get nothing. The new benefits regime will be called Work for Freedom.

Did we mention pensions yet? The tories will reduce the state pension but not too much, they do rely on the silver vote after all so it will be nice and subtle. Those other benefits like winter fuel allowance and free TV licences will all have to go, after all we need to pull together now that there’s a war on, spirit of the blitz and all. Didn’t we mention the war? We’ll get to that. The bus passes will have to go, but then pensioners are not economically active so why do they need to get around? As for those company and private pensions, all that lovely cash sitting around is just too tempting to resist, Gideon already has his greedy eyes on that honeypot. After all there is a war to pay for.

Oh yes, the war. Well it turns out that nuclear weapons are no deterrent after all. The £167 billion which was funnelled into arms companies didn’t prevent the war. Well it wouldn’t would it, because war is so much more profitable than peace. If there’s something a tory loves it’s money and cushy non executive directorships, both of which can be had by the bucket load if only the house votes for war.

We’ll need someone to do the dirty work, boots on the ground so to speak. There weren’t many volunteers so the tories re-introduced conscription. Now all our youth must serve in the armed forces, but only working class youth of course. There are lots of exemptions so if you have enough cash your son/daughter will not have to join the slaughter discipline enhancing institutions of the armed forces. Before you know it they will be off to the sand pit with sub-standard kit, made by the lowest bidder, to fight in a perpetual war which cannot be won.

Back home in Blighty there will be fear, lashings of it, all over the MSM. We need to have fear to keep the people in their place you see. There will not be any facts, good lord no. We can’t have the plebs making informed decisions can we? That would never do. The media will do the government’s bidding because they are one and the same. All part of the same establishment because that is what tories stand for: the few at the expense of the many.

The Rt. Hon. The Baronness of Kennington

Let Them Eat Porridge

Tory peer The Rt. Hon. The Baronness Jenkin of Kennington told the poor of the land that their plight was due to their lack of culinary skills, nothing at all to do with the Tories’ ravaging austerity programme. She even said, “I had a large bowl of porridge today, which cost 4p.”

Meanwhile in other news the erstwhile Anne Jenkin, to use her “common” name, sits on the Lords Refreshment Committee which spent £260000 of our money on 17000 bottles of champagne. Their total annual budget is £1.3 million, the equivalent of 32500000 bowls of porridge.

Stamp Duty to £270k

Tories’ Gloat

So Gideon finally gave us his Autumn Statement today even though we are in winter, all those numbers must have gone to his head. He announced that the UK government were going to steal the SNP’s clothes and change the Stamp Duty Land Tax to something close to John Swinney’s system which is due to come into force next April. This change is to be effective almost immediately. The Tories were gloating on social media.

Tory gloat

Tory gloat

I’ll bet that they’re chuffed to bits about that, but is it true?

Stamp Duty to £270k

Stamp Duty to £270k

Not exactly, you wouldn’t expect anything else from the Tories though would you. As can be seen from the graph above the new Scottish system would produce a lower amount of stamp duty until the home sold for £254000. From that point on the new Scottish system will take a larger tax take than the new rUK system.

Stamp Duty to £500k

Stamp Duty to £500k

For seriously expensive properties the picture looks very grim.

Stamp Duty to £6.5 million

Stamp Duty to £6.5 million

But, as can be seen from the bigger picture the new rUK system closely tracks the new Scottish system and both are way above the old system. So it is quite odd that you don’t hear rich folks squealing about the huge extra chunk that’s going to be taken when they buy a new estate in England yet they squealed like fat little piggies when John Swinney announced the change in Scotland. The Tories themselves called it an “assault on aspiration” in this piece. I wonder if they will say the same for Gideon’s new regime?

Anyway back to the Tory gloat, are Scots worse off now? As I mentioned earlier the new Scots system has a lower tax take until the £254000 point where parity is reached with the new rUK system. According to the Registers of Scotland 10 year report the average house price in Scotland is £157476, so most buyers will still be better off. Even in the most expensive city, Edinburgh, the average house price is £216483 so the argument that people will be unfairly penalised in more expensive areas doesn’t hold water. Of course some people will pay more, but that is the point of a progressive tax isn’t it? If you want to buy a Scottish estate so that you and your chums can participate in blood sports then you’re going to have to pay through the nose. Oh well.

Article 6 European Convention of Human Rights

European Convention on Human Rights, Article 6: Right to a Fair Trial

Article 6 enshrines everyone’s tight to a fair trial, including a public hearing, before an independent and impartial tribunal within reasonable time. The article also enshrines the presumption of innocence and other minimum rights for those charged with a criminal offence, such as adequate time and facilities to prepare their defence, access to legal representation, right to examine witnesses against them or have them examined and the right to the free assistance of an interpreter.

Of course this has already happened with the introduction of the Justice and Security Act 2013 which means that you can be charged, tried, convicted and sentenced without knowing of any of the details of the case against you. You will not hear any of the charges against you. You will not get to know any of the evidence against you. You will not be allowed to be present in the court which decides your fate. You will not even hear what your sentence is. The first thing that you will know will be the police coming to your door to arrest you and place you in prison to serve your sentence.

This legislation is in direct contradiction to Article 6, which is probably why the Tories want to get rid of the Human Rights Act so they can chuck whoever they please into prison.

The Lying PM

PM Lies Like a Cheap NAAFI Watch

The Prime Minister thumped his tub in parliament today saying, “Britain will not be paying €2 billion to anyone on 1 December.” David Miliband tried to find out when the UK Government knew about the increased payments but the Prime Minister brushed the question aside. So the questions are, who knew what and when?

The budget, and the changes to each countries charges, was discussed on 26th May 2014. The measures which increased the UK’s share of the budget were waved though, “without discussion.” On the same day the Prime Minister’s Spokesperson issued a press briefing which said, “Asked about the European Commission’s intention to increase its budget, the PMS pointed out that this was an annual budget, which formed part of a 7 year spending period. And, as a result of negotiations led by the Prime Minister last year, the EU budget would fall in real terms over that period.” So David Cameron KNEW about the increase to the budget the day before he flew out to have an informal dinner with other EU leaders on the 27th May 2014, but he was too busy crowing about the European election results to be bothered to bring the topic of a £1.7 billion increase in the UK’s contribution.

On the 24th October 2014 the PM said, “Well I first learnt about this yesterday on Thursday, and immediately started to seek allies, and I found allies in the Italians and the Greeks and Dutch and others, on just how unacceptable this is. In terms of when the Treasury got this information, it was a little bit earlier in the week. And I think the answer to that is when these sorts of memos come about is that they have to be interrogated, they have to be examined, people have to work out what lies behind them.” This is clearly a lie.

So why are the press not going for the jugular? Because Dave is ‘their’ man in Downing Street perhaps? Or are the press doing the government’s bidding? Or is it both?

Danny Licks George's Spittle

Cameron Promises to Default on UK Debt

The Prime Minister has promised that the UK will not pay it’s debt to the EU on the 1st December which would leave the UK in default. David Cameron said, “If people think I am paying that bill on 1 December, they have another think coming.” This will henceforth be known as the “Call Me Dave” defence so the next time HMRC come knocking, wanting you to pay your tax bill by such and such a date, you just have to tell them that your name is Dave and the problem will disappear. How do you think that will work out? Exactly, and the same thing is going to happen here.

The spat is designed to make the PM appear to be tough on the EU but the effect so far is to alienate our trading partners and neighbours as well as diminishing our global standing. Who is going to trust a country which does not pay its’ debts? As Danny Alexander, Chief Secretary to the Treasury and Tory Lickspittle, said during the Scottish Independence Referendum about the SNPs’ promise not to pay its’ share of UK debt, “The Scottish Government’s plan to renege on Scotland’s share of the debt in the event of independence is simply not credible. Mortgage rates would go up, credit cards and bills would go up and the Scottish Government would have to resort to the bond markets equivalent of Wonga to raise money to pay for public services in Scotland.”

So that’s it then, we can expect higher mortgage rates, credit cards and bills to go up and UK government will have to go cap in hand to Wonga to bail them out. Just because Dave want’s to appear to be tough on the EU. Just because the Tories are running scared from the UKIP threat. We’re definitely Better Together now then.


PM Squeals about “Pooling and Sharing” of Resources

The Prime Minister has “demanded” emergency talks with the EU about their demands for more money from the UK. The demands themselves stem from the UK economy’s outperformance since 1995 and they amount to £1.676 billion. The Netherlands, Greece, Italy and Cyprus are also in the frame for their underpayments to the EU. These “demands” have been acceded to by the EU.

Some countries have been made overpayments to the EU and now they are due a refund. The countries are: France, Germany, Denmark, Poland and Austria. Given how strong these countries’ voices are within the EU, and the fact that they are due a rebate, I don’t think that the PM stands much of a chance of getting the surcharge waived.

This announcement from the EU is a big blow to the Pm and the Tories, with the Rochester and Strood by-election coming up on 20th November and UKIP nipping at their heels. The PM has to appear to be tough on Europe or risk losing more votes to the right wing UKIP. Unfortunately for David Cameron the majority of people are against leaving the EU so the PM is really on the hook. If he succeeds then the Tories will look good to UKIP voters but if he fails then he can expect a backlash against his party.

But what about our moral obligations? Think of it this way, if you had under paid your taxes to HMRC you can be sure that they would want you to pay that money back. So what is the difference here? Are the Conservative/Lib Dem coalition involving themselves in tax dodging?

They’re just like their rich chums.

David Cameron Doh

New poll is huge blow to Tories/UKIP

A recent IpsosMORI poll shows that 56% of Britons wish to remain within the EU, the highest proportion since 1999. The poll is a clear warning to the Tories and UKIP that their Euroscepticism is falling on deaf ears throughout the land, with even Tory support for continued membership above 50%.

Among the other parties 73% of Labour supporters and 82% of Lib Dem supporters favour continued membership. Unsurprisingly only 11% of UKIP supporters are in favour of remaining within the EU.

The new poll is a big blow for David Cameron, who is pushing for an in/out referendum on the issue in 2017 if the Tories are re-elected. He is responding to the threat of UKIP which has seen 2 Tory MPs defect to it in recent times. But it is clear that his message is not getting through to the majority of the population. Membership of the EU has always been one of the major fault lines of the Tory party.

The poll also shows that UKIP are not reaching the majority of the population with their xenophobic message.

Labour are marginally in the lead ahead of the next general election in 2015 but they are not immune from the threat of UKIP either which has lead to a further lurch to the right for the party with David Miliband announcing new controls on immigration if Labour are elected in 2015. But Labour supporters have traditionally been more in favour of immigration than the other parties.

Among Scottish people 60% were in favour of remaining within the EU. Unfortunately there were no breakdowns of political party affiliations within this segment of the poll.

There was no mention of this poll on the BBC, is this censorship by omission?

European Commission President Barroso

New Blow to Tory Immigration Plans

In a fresh blow to the Tory party’s UK immigration strategy the European Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso told British Prime Minister David Cameron that he risked upsetting allies and trading partners, as well as losing international clout if he pursued an anti-immigration agenda designed to placate domestic voters.

Mr Cameron’s false flag operation, aimed at reducing the numbers of low skilled workers entering the UK from the rest of the EU, is a direct result of the threat to the Tories posed by UKIP. It gives him the impression of being tough on the EU, however he knows that the free movement of people is enshrined in the Maastricht Treaty which created EU Citizenship. This means that it is a fundamental to the EU that all EU citizens have the freedom of movement within the EU and the freedom of residence throughout the EU. So any restrictions on the movement of EU citizens would be in contravention of EU law and thus it would be completely unacceptable to the rest of the EU.

The only legal way to restrict the number of EU migrants would be a renegotiation of the founding EU treaties, which would require the agreement of all of the other EU states. This is very unlikely to happen. So when the rest of the EU says No, Mr Cameron will be able to say, “We tried to renegotiate but they were not willing so now we must hold a referendum on leaving the EU.” This would make him appear to be tough on the EU, partly countering the xenophobia of UKIP (and the Eurosceptics within the Conservative party). He would see this as a mandate for his proposed referendum, assuming the tories get re-elected.

The compliant media are all singing from the proffered hymn sheet, ramping up the anti immigration and anti EU rhetoric.  All the while giving UKIP, with one elected MP, loads of free publicity. It’s almost as if UKIP are being lined up by the establishment as a protest vote, side lining the Lib Dems, but in reality they are just the right wing of the Conservative party. The media are also not asking the important questions, like “what would be the cost to the UK of an exit from the EU?” The media are constraining the breadth of acceptable discussion, limiting the debate to narrow confines, not allowing the bigger picture to be spoken about. This is how referendums are won and lost.

Of course the general election is just round the corner and the tories are just laying out their stall, trying to steal some of UKIP’s clothes in order to hide their dismal record in government, particularly on the deficit. Expect to see DC in a pub soon, supping a pint like “common folk” would.

Fat Tory Alex Johnston MSP

Fat Tory does not recognise referendum result!

Alex Johnston MSP (Conservative list for NE Scotland) does not recognise the Scottish referendum result, he voted against the motion “That the Parliament recognises the result of the independence referendum.” So what does that mean? Does it mean that he wanted independence? Not likely. Does it mean that he believes that the referendum was rigged and that it was not free and fair? Probably.

Why have I picked this particular fat tory for today’s blog I hear you ask? Well it’s because he decided to give his tuppence worth today on the BBC about the nomination of Nicola Sturgeon as leader of the SNP. For the record he said,”We all know how keen the SNP leadership were on keeping the monarchy and that seems to extend to adopting a similar succession model for their new leader.” That’s how elections work Alex, if there is only one candidate then there is not much point in having an election is there? Alex has never won an election, he got his seat as a list MSP.

Just for the record Alex Johnston opposed gay marriage but supported the bedroom tax. He’s a typical fat tory with his snout in the trough.